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[29 May 2004|11:39am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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You know its usually when someone is really upset that they post and write a lot. I dont get that? I mean its true, its just a shame we dont post more happy times, or maybe its just me.
I just feel like my life is falling apart, and everyone in it can do nothing but stand back, point their fingers and laugh... I have this feeling that everyone thinks, "Oh she had it coming..." But I dont. promise. Everything is going badly and You know when they say, oh today is bad but tomorrow will be a good day... I highly doubt that, because Ive been trying to go off of that saying for 2 weeks now. When will things change?
Then I start to think, maybe this is all just one big sign. A sign telling me, its time to move on, in all senses. It's a scary thing but I cant see doing anything else about it. What will I do? What will I say? How will this all end?
And then I start to think, so since Im starting over, does that mean the same shit is going to start back up again someplace else? How can I just escape it all? I guess is the real question I want to ask. I know theres real no answer, and to be honest im not really looking for one. Really im not. I just want everything to stop... Stop being in trouble, stop not being recognized, stop being petty, stop not appreciating me! I just really want to move away but what good will that do, no place is perfect, no one is perfect, there for im stuck in this paradox of life forever.
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[27 May 2004|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away!
9 more days!
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[13 Mar 2004|11:13am] |
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mood |
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 high |
] |
Last night man...
pix soon.
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| The weekend |
[17 Feb 2004|11:41am] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
] |
Well everything has been so great lately (I really hope im not jinxing things...) Friday... Rent-a-senior... FREE FOOD man, whats better than that!? =D I hope my date had fun <3
Saturday the 14th... Things couldnt have been more perfect. I love that boy so much... After a dozen red roses and a romantic dinner for 2 we went to go eat some more!!! And went to visit my dear friend natalia at work. (your so cute) after we ate he took me home and that was my night... It ended kind of early because he had work early the next morning but everything was just great. I had a great time and well, it was just a nice night with the bf...
Sunday I hung out with the girls, went to a hotel party, then went home... Wasnt too exciting?
Monday I worked =D I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY lived through a "rush"... Oh man, that machine that types out the orders is the devil... They just kept coming and coming. But Im starting to get the hang of it, and other than the cleaning all the time its a lot of fun!! I got home from work around 8 and just when I thought I would be able to rest and relax my love calls and wants me to go work out with him... UM... Work out? like at a gym?????? Uhhh ya, as hard as I tried to get out of it, he just kept calling me lazy and I KNOW im not lazy, so I gave in a went. GOOD THING cause I've never had so much fun!!! we got there and we played some basketball, then we lifted some weights and did some exercises together. Hes so great, Ive never laughed and had so much fun working out, I have so much fun with him... ::sigh:: <3 I LOVE Him so much.
BSP today =P didnt go so well, there was tension up the ass... AHHH! Anyway, I love my friends, I love my bf, I love my mom (shes the coolest, if you only knew), I love my job and I love life right now... everything is G-R-E-A-T!!!!!!!
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| gimme a sec |
[12 Feb 2004|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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 nerdy |
] |
A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the mysteries of life and
his own personal problems. The man couldn't find the answers, so he sought
help from God.
"God? You there, God?" he asked.
"Yes. What is it, my son?" God answered.
"Mind if I ask a few questions?" the man asked.
"Go ahead, my son, anything."
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God answered, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God replied, "A million dollars to me is worth only a penny."
The man lifted his eyebrows and asked his final question.
"God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "Sure, give me a second."
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| You know... |
[08 Feb 2004|11:35am] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away;
and all the things I want to say can find no
voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes
will speak my heart."
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| we're great. |
[06 Feb 2004|06:00pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
] |
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music |
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A Whole New World - Aladin |
] |
Time to get serious... Please answer the following:
What would you do if:
1. Let's say a guy/girl your hooking up with is sucking on your nipples and does a "Jim carey" and says... "Ma, MA" ::and proceeds to gnaw on your nipple?
2. (Part 1 of 2.) You had a Siamese Twin who was attached at your butt... you shared one asshole but two vaginas'. Would you be a nice twin and let them have sex, and would you be willing to do it doggy style?
3. (Part 2 of 2.) If your Siamese twin got asked to dance because she/he was the more good looking side, would you go along and try your best to dance along?
4. Would you flirt with a winker, or expect they just had something in their eye?
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| pleeeeeeeeeeeeease.... |
[05 Feb 2004|12:17pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
I have two favors to ask of YOU (anyone who is reading this):
1. Come visit me at Jamba once I start... Ventura and Reseda in Tarzana, near Portola.
2. RENT ME!!!
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| hmmm? |
[04 Feb 2004|08:15pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, February 4:
Nothing is perfect, but you're free to bail out at any time. It may be impossible for two people to share a common definition of their relationship. As long as you know yourself, that's a good start.
Coincidence or just bad luck?
I got stood up for dinner tonight.
I know... I know...
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| Where tha dolla' bills at!??? WHOOOOOOOOOOooooo |
[30 Jan 2004|09:09am] |
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mood |
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broke |
] |
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music |
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Money money money mooooney...... MON-AAAAY! |
] |
Well can you tell im excited for tonight? It should be pretty interesting... Hollywood Men its called. So let me tell you, Shauna called me last night asked me if I would be interested in going with her, her sister, and a few of her cousins to a male strip club type of thing and well of course an opportunity like that I couldn't say NO... =D common' you know me... Should be pretty fun, then after is the cheer sleep over, maybe ill bring ya'll a souvenir back - a thong or something, haha...
On the more serious side of things, I went for an interview at Jamba Juice yesterday. Not sure if ill get it, it seemed like she liked this other girl? but good luck to Phyllis!!! I hope at least one of us OR BOTH get it. If jamba doesn't call me Im going to call starbucks and see what they thought of my app., then maybe a little later ill head over to Ultra Zone (natalia said they were hiring, and if i get a job there we could be neighbors!! =) I dunno, we will see? I need money though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[26 Jan 2004|04:13pm] |
"things dont come to those who wait, patience is for those with nothing left to pursue and no ideas to contemplate, there isnt enough time to wait. no matter what your actions, time will pass.happiness, loneliness, emotions, come to those who take them."
isnt this brilliant?
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| Ooo what a Life... |
[26 Jan 2004|11:08am] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
] |
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music |
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christina - stronger |
] |
Sometimes I need to just sit back and really think about how lucky I really am. Lucky to be surrounded by the greatest friends anyone could ask for, lucky to have a loving family (even if we cant sit through one dinner without getting into a little spat), lucky to love and be loved in return... Im just feelings really fortunate, I love everyone in my life and thank you for all making it what it is.
This weekend:
G-R-E-A-T, period.
I saw Along Came Polly this weekend, it was funny but for the most part a little slow. what a shame.
This week:
I have a final tomorrow, then I get out of school around 11 and jess and I are going to head out for some snowboarding... YAY! FINALLY!
then a few more finals, then im done.... DONE DONE DONE
I need to get a job asap.*
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| posted by: Cristina, Paris, Phyllis and Jess |
[22 Jan 2004|10:59am] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
] |
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music |
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nothing. |
] |
HELLO 2004!
what up g.-phyllis
you should have what each person is saying-paris
lets tell a story-phyllis
i cant talk because shes going to type it-phyllis
hahahaha-everyone
once upon a time there lived a...-phyllis
no no no this is the way its going to go-paris
giggles from paris and phyllis
wait i was laughing too - jessica
OK for real now, I know I havnt updated in a while!!! Ever since last year! Anyways, nothings really changed, Life has been well... Interesting. School has been MOST boring lately considering we do NOTHING!!! Im thinking im going to preserve mondays for snowboarding because we have 1,3,5, and 1st period i have english and well our teacher is NEVER there, then 3rd I have TA and well Im online the whole time and thats 2 hours of nothing, then 5th, i dont even have a 5th period anymore so i get off at 12:30 every monday and thursday... What a life.
Well I guess my weekends have been my highlights of my life right now. But since I have 4 real good friends who update their LJ's more than I do, you should read theirs to find out what we've been up to on the weekends... [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<phyllisrose,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] HELLO 2004! what up g.-phyllis you should have what each person is saying-paris lets tell a story-phyllis i cant talk because shes going to type it-phyllis hahahaha-everyone once upon a time there lived a...-phyllis no no no this is the way its going to go-paris giggles from paris and phyllis wait i was laughing too - jessica OK for real now, I know I havnt updated in a while!!! Ever since last year! Anyways, nothings really changed, Life has been well... Interesting. School has been MOST boring lately considering we do NOTHING!!! Im thinking im going to preserve mondays for snowboarding because we have 1,3,5, and 1st period i have english and well our teacher is NEVER there, then 3rd I have TA and well Im online the whole time and thats 2 hours of nothing, then 5th, i dont even have a 5th period anymore so i get off at 12:30 every monday and thursday... What a life. Well I guess my weekends have been my highlights of my life right now. But since I have 4 real good friends who update their LJ's more than I do, you should read theirs to find out what we've been up to on the weekends... <phyllisrose, nothingsimple, emukid, ima_tinydancer> Anyone of theirs will explain what exactly ive been up to lately. Right now im trying to decide whether I should get a job and work till summer then go to Europe for a month, which would be like a "senior trip" or if I should hold off and work at camp (which I did last year and I loved!) I dunno, there are a lot of things to consider. I hate shopping lately because since V-Day is coming up, EVERYTHING is either red or pink and heart-shaped and its just annoying... (for those of you who watch Sex in the City, its like the "Ick Factor!". Anyways, I have NO IDEA what my plans are, I guess Ill just wait to see what happens and who calls................ eh, I dont even want to think about it. If I do end up spending it alone I promise not to be all anit-love though and wear black... Phyllis and I are going to the mall after school to get shauna a present... While im there ill pick up a "K" necklace. "Kristy, just call me Kristy" =) |
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[16 Dec 2003|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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Pictures pictures pictures... I got homecoming and my senior pictures today... I guess I never ordered my actual senior picture, I ended up getting this black and white one and this other color close up... Oh well, they will have to do. School is pointless this week. Cant wait, 3 more days. O let it be friday already!
Ive started white oleander. Prolly my fault that I watched the movie first, hearing as though the book is 100 times better, all I can think now is about what happened in the movie... OH WELL, I will read on.
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| its sad when... |
[11 Dec 2003|11:41am] |
You know how people always say, "You are who your friends are"... Ive been thinking about it lately and its true, for the most part. Ive realized ive been trying to stay away because you brought a different side of me out. Not bad, just different, and I guess I wasnt ready, or maybe I am. All I know is that things were just off, I started second guessing myself at everything i did, my friendships, my beliefs, my relationship. I didnt like it, and I only realized that I was doing this once we stopped hanging out. Dont get me wrong I do miss talking to you, but you always seemed to be so sad and depressed and no matter how hard i tried to make you smile and happy it would never seem to last. I got mad and you and mad and myself that I couldnt help, that i couldnt change you life to how you wanted it to be. But I realized that life is not a fairytale, its SUPPOSED to be fucked up, where else would you learn things in life? Im a happy girl, it doesnt take much for me to smile, but being happy for two of us was getting to be too much work all the time.
Another situation... One of my good friends (lets call him frank), that I no longer talk to because he thought it was always the same old thing. And I guess when I finally ran into him at a party and asked why he never returned my calls and he looked a little frazzled I knew something was wrong... He sat me down and explained that I was always in the "mood" when I was with him and he got sick and tired of it. And well, if i were him I would have been sick and tired of it too.. But i guess I didnt realize what I was doing until he actually stopped talking to me and plain out told me why our friendship was fading.
And I realize it now that thats why im keeping my distance. I miss your friendship but I cant do it alone... Frank has still not called even when I did apologize, maybe its just better this way? I hope not because I miss both of you. anyway, thats that... Ive been wanting to write about this for a while, i just havnt gotten a chance to get onto a computer.
Life has been pretty bland lately... Saying it has been bad would just make me too sad. Lets just say it could always be better. I dont understand what ive done wrong to deserve some of the things that have been coming to me. Am i really that bad of a person? (dont answer that) just read... I try so hard to please everyone else and make everyone else happy and what do i get for it? I always try SO SO hard to stay out of the line of drama and up till now ive done a GREAT job. Where and how did I get myself into this? OH WAIT, i didnt really have a choice in the matter.
Why do people thrive off of other peoples misery?? (answer this)
tell me please because i would love to know? Do they feel better about themselves? Are they really that evil?
Im planning a trip... I need to get away, O let me get away! Winter break is almost here and its just what i need... I see a lot of alone time in my future. I just need a break from life. I wish that for just one day I didnt exist, just to see how things would be different, or if they would be different at all? I guess we'll never know.
Theres just so many unanswered qustions...
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| just breathe |
[04 Dec 2003|07:51pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
] |
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music |
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out of reach - getupkids |
] |
Im so annoyed right now at so many things... First I would have to say is math. I have a trig test tomorrow that im not ready for that I dont think ill every be ready for. I swear I study, and im REALLY trying to understand this crap but its just not sinking in, im not understanding the concepts and so its going to be hell taking that test tomorrow... Ok so thats that!
Then college.... OHHHHHHHHHH college... Im so pissed at myself for being so god damn lazy! WHY!? Im just really disappointed in myself lately - that I didnt try harder and put in any effort or even gave a shit to apply anywhere. Im just frustrated!!! and need to scream!!!! REALLY LOUD!
I just need to get my priorities straight because right now they arent, and thats a big problem. I dont need someone to point it out to me because I already know. The most important thing to me is graduating and going to college and taking classes for what I want to do in my later portion of life. I just want it to be here. I want to get started already, no 2 years of general education, I just wanted to start on what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know im sounding so whiny (I KNOW, im annoying myself) I just cant help it, it seems like lately thats all that ive been thinking about and it gets me soooooo depressed!
I want to BE something. I want to DO something with my life!!!!
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